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Fan Literature   -   Aliens Vs Penguins: Naked, With Pie In   -   Chapter 1
Aliens Vs Penguins: Naked, With Pie In
Written by:  SiL


Chapter 1 - Whatever


The General shuffled some papers, straightened some things on his desk, opened the draw and pulled out a Playboy magazine.

"Uh, sir?"

The General put he magazine back, shuffled some papers, and looked at the company exec. "So, what are the benefits of transporting a thousand troops to a planet so cold that the atmosphere wears wooly clothing and is inhabited by six thousand tribes of bloodthirsty Penguins?"

"Good medical insurance, plus you won’t have to worry about costly funeral fees, as you’re likely to be torn apart by the Aliens we’re sending there to be studied under extreme conditions. And if they don’t get you, you’re sure to be frozen by icer-weilding maniacs!"

The General shuffled some papers, straightened some things on his desk, made some coffee and pulled out the porno magazine.

"Sir?"

The General put the magazine down. "What weapons?"

"We can supply you with a lot of pistols, some Uzi’s. Uh, not a great deal with your budget, actually. You’d have to sell some clothes – all of them, actually – some dog tags, stuff like that. If you want anything decent."

The General opened the magazine at the centerfold and, without looking up, said "Sweet Mamma, yes!"

The exec let himself out, giving one last, disturbed look back at the General before leaving.




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