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AvP Freaks

Fan Literature   -   Aliens Vs Penguins: Naked, With Pie In   -   Chapter 8
Aliens Vs Penguins: Naked, With Pie In
Written by:  SiL

Chapter 8 - War!

The war outside was full-on: on the West side, the Penguins were unleashing volleys of Liquid Nitrogen balls from massive cannons. On the East side, the Aliens were pouring out of the base, releasing all hell on those who crossed them.

On all sides of the base were people and Penguins shooting and freezing each other. There was no side that had any advantage, though: The Penguins had the unfortunate necessity to stand side-one while shooting; The people were too busy checkin’ out the hot Privates on the Lieutenant to see where they were shooting; and the Aliens could act very foolishly, like the one that just ran into a dead man’s machete for no apparent reason.

One person, however, had great fortune: Because of the amazing size of his [censored], the Penguins were too busy trying to figure out what it was to aim properly, and the Aliens were just mesmerized by the way it swung in the air when he yelled.

"Come and get me!" he screamed, firing off rounds at passing anything’s. "I’m open! Come and get meeee!"

Finally, one of the Aliens got the curiosity a cat does when it sees something swinging, and took a bat at it.

Poor guy never was the same, especially with that hole in his head. And neither was that Alien over there that got torn apart by – was it… yes, it was! Sausages! The free-range type you can buy in the supermarket!

The small herd plowed through everything, batting with all their futile might before being eaten alive by hungry Aliens and people. The poor buggers never stood a chance.

Then the war stopped. Every one and thing went to a large fire were the marines had started a barbecue with a few beers, and everyone joined in, singing sea shanties and the like. But then the food and beer ran out, and they started killing each other again.

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