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Fan Literature   -   Aliens Vs Penguins: Naked, With Pie In   -   Chapter 3
Aliens Vs Penguins: Naked, With Pie In
Written by:  SiL


Chapter 3 - Her Majesty, Sshe’ss’Sshitt’y


She sat on her throne, flipping through the hive-mind channels like the radio. "…twelve Aliens dead … no survivors … sex charges over Her Majesty disproved when it was found we are, in fact, A-sexual … want fun? Don’t be an Alien! … Her Majesties nest is flying 30,000 feet above the air, heading towards a large metal ship. I’m now being shot to death, so goodbye fellow Aliens."

Sshe’ss’Sshitt’y looked down at the hive floor and kicked a decent hole through it. The reporter was wrong: They weren’t in the air. There was even something under the hive, which she also kicked with her foot. It was cold, hard and metallic. She whimpered as she realised what it was.

"Mummy!" she cried.

As the cry finished an obese, waddling Queen came into view, her masses of fat swaying with each step. What was most grotesque about the thing was that there was actually armor on those hypnotic roles.

"Holy shit, who the hell are you?!"

"I’m your mummy, baby!" the blob mumbled.

"No you aren’t! You’re too fat! It’s a wonder you’re even standing!"

"I’m not," the blob replied. "I rolling on myself."

Very smoothly, and very calmly, Sshe’ss’Sshitt’y pulled out a Chain gun and emptied it out on the blob thing, which roared as the armor was broken and the contents splashed out. Then it started to spread, like a giant black fire. At first Her Majesty was worried The Blob was coming for her, but then she realised with relief it was just the enormous amount of fat that had been kept compressed in that large space.

"Kids!" she called, "dinner’s ready!"




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