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AvP Freaks

Fan Literature   -   Aliens Vs Penguins: Naked, With Pie In   -   Chapter 11
Aliens Vs Penguins: Naked, With Pie In
Written by:  SiL

Chapter 11 - A Man and His Crayons

It was cold. It was absolutely Freeze-your-ass-off cold. The Aliens were cold, the humans were cold, the penguins were … warm. And to vent their anger at the one-degree decline in temperature they started shooting large balls of ice with a Liquid Oxygen centers that burnt through anything when they collided.

One such blast hurtled through the air and tore out a large chunk of armor off the station, despite the fact that it hit five Penguins. But now it really didn’t matter, because the humans were worried about keeping their Private’s warm so they could make love when they got home, and so they were easy targets. The only adversary were the Aliens because they were no longer mesmerized by the swaying of anyone’s [censored] because they were no longer able to do that.

But there was always one man, one absolute man, that wouldn’t be affected. Yes, it was Shipley, man of a thousand women. But unfortunately he isn’t in this story, so the job was passed onto Ceremony, who was also an absolute … retard.

He burst open a hatch on the roof and rose like a man with a bloody big Mini-gun. He looked down at the swarming masses, grinned, and pulled the trigger, emptying his supply of ammunition in two minutes flat. Great weapon that was.

He then pulled out the sacred weapons, the crayons! He jumped, not unlike a mad man, into the midst of the fight and started doing funky martial arts stuff with his Awesome Colours. By the end of his little charade not an Alien, Penguin or human that had been within striking distance was left standing.

Except for that Praetorian over there, the one that had been impaled on the wall by an Awesome Red Crayon. It was still up. So Ceremony decided to rectify the problem and pulled out the crayon, letting the body slump to the ground.

He looked back at the multi-colored mutilated bodies and grinned.

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