The general leaned forward, shuffling papers on his desk and frowning. The man sitting across from him, on the other side of the desk, fidgeted, but remained silent. The general frowned. “So let me get this straight. You couldn’t hold the base, due to a lack of ammo, so you sent all your remaining troops running at the enemy with their knives?”
The man nodded. “Yes, sir.”
The general frowned deeper. “And exactly how many men did you have left at that time?”
“Three, sir.”
“So you sent three men running at the enemy’s tanks, unarmed?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And what do you call this little maneuver?”
“The horrifying human wave attack, sir.”
“Don’t you think a horrifying human wave would consist of a few more than three men, colonel?”
“Yes, sir. I had to work with what I had, sir.”
“I see.”
The general leaned back, stroking his lip. “Well, you leave me no choice, colonel. Your stupidity is only matched by your ignorance.”
“I thought those were the same thing, sir.”
“They are. That means you’re twice as dumb as I thought. You’re demoted to commander, and are to be placed on permanent unpaid leave until we find some back-water operation small enough and stupid enough to fit your area of expertise.”
“What is my area of expertise, sir?”
“Wasting supplies and men on holding useless locations just for the sake of bragging rights.”
“Ah.”
“Get out of my office. And for God’s sakes, man, find yourself another job. You won’t be needed in this man’s army for years to come.”
The commander stood, picked up his hat, and walked out. The door hit him in the butt on the way out.